What I'm Reading, Nonfiction: Joyce Meyer's "Approval Addiction"

Are you a people pleaser? If so, you're not alone. I am, too, and there's a ton of us out there. And it turns out, this addiction to gaining the approval of others is pretty darn destructive to our lives.

I've long been a fan of Joyce Meyer - I regularly watch her video clips and feel encouraged by her messages. This is my first time reading one of her books, however. My dear friend Yolanda brought this title to me when I was in the hospital last week and I've been making my way through it, slowly but surely, ever since.

Why slowly but surely, you ask? Normally, I'm a fast reader. However, this book contains tons of scriptural references and so much great information that I'm taking it slowly. I've got my Bible nearby so I can check each reference, I've got a book of prayers that I use to find similar topics, and I'm re-reading each chapter as I go so I can really soak in this goodness.

Here's why I am loving this book so much - the description from the back cover:

An addiction is something that controls people - something they feel they cannot do without or something they do to alleviate pain or pressure. It comes in many varieties, such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, shopping, eating work - and yes, even approval. Like any addict, insecure people look for a 'fix' when they get shaky. They need someone to reaffirm them and assure them that everything is all right.

The good news is that they, and you, don't have to suffer with insecurity; there is a cure for the approval addiction. The Word of God says we can be secure through Jesus Christ (see Ephesians 3:17). That means we are free to be ourselves and become all we can be in Him.

Beyond being a people pleaser, I'm also an appeaser. I want everyone to be happy all the time, and when I see a problem - or am the cause of a problem - I seek to fix that so that everyone will be happy and no one will be mad at me. And when I fail to do so, I withdraw into myself and basically hide out.

But I'm working hard to go beyond that. I know - I KNOW - that I can't keep everyone happy all the time and that that isn't even my job to do in the first place.

In this book, I feel like Joyce Meyer is talking directly to me. From the introduction:

Do you live under a burden of guilt and condemnation, feeling unrighteous, unworthy, and insecure? Are you a people-pleaser, always looking for the approval of others?

Yes, yes, and even yesser. This continually manifests itself in my life under the guise of anxiety. And it can be downright crippling! Here's what Joyce Meyer says to those of us who answered yes to that question above:

If the answer is yes, then I hope by the grace and the mercy of God to help you get over those feelings because they affect not only your personal relationships, but also your prayer life and your ability to be promoted in life. They certainly steal your joy and your peace - and that is not God's will for you or anyone else. God's will is that you enjoy your life - and you can do that.

The book then divides into 3 parts: part 1 focuses on "understanding we aren't perfect and that is okay;" part 2 goes on to cover "specific additions that hinder our walk with God;" and part 3 focuses on "our wholeness in God."

I'm still only in part 1 of the book, but since I'm loving it so much - and since I like to keep it real with what's going on in my own life - I wanted to share my experience with you here. I'll bet there's at least a few of you out there who could also benefit from reading "Approval Addiction."

How does people-pleasing behaviors affect you in your life? I'd love to hear your own experiences while we are in the middle of acknowledging and working to heal from this destructive behavior.