Fall Self-Care Challenge, Week Two:LIFE BALANCE, Part 2

Howdy again, ya'll!

Yes, WEEK TWO of my FALL SELF-CARE CHALLENGE is coming to you a couple weeks late. Sometimes, life goes off the rails a bit and we have to take time to address much larger goings-on. In my case, my best friend's sweet baby boy passed away unexpectedly and that was a much more important focus than blogging. It still is, honestly. If I could cut myself in two and send half of me back to PA, where I was last week, I would do so. But I had to get back to Texas to care for my own babies and get back up to speed in my work life, so here I am...blathering to you.

So about this self-care stuff...

Well, honestly, I barely got started. So here's to new new beginnings, right? Because it's never too late or too early to begin again anew.

So to recap...

The first three changes I wanted to incorporate in my life to create better balance were:
1. Stop Watching the Clock,
2. Stop Denying My Inner Clock, and
3. Quit With Arbitrary Rules.

Have you tried to incorporate any of those changes into your own life? I've been semi-successful, just in my short attempt at doing so. In fact, today I was so involved in work I was doing that I nearly missed getting to crosswalk (one of my volunteer gigs) this afternoon for school dismissal. So: I still need to watch the clock a bit. Or at least turn the reminder alarms back on, on my phone and iPad, now that I'm back in town.

As far as my inner clock having reset itself in the past year, turning me from an inveterate night owl to an astonishingly awake morning person...well, I've decided to embrace that wholeheartedly. More on that below...

Quitting arbitrary rules has been my biggest win so far. I was so programmed to "have" to do certain things at certain times, or in certain ways, that were just totally and completely unnecessary. Foolish, even. Beginning to ignore that in favor of simply getting done what needs done has been so freeing!

And now, this week...

WEEK TWO PRESENTS... 

KILL ALL THE UNICORNS!

How many of us experience unicorn wins versus actual habit changes?

Do I see a few hands out there, waving wildly in the air? I thought so!

A unicorn win is when you make an important change...and then forget all about it and go back to your old ways. In other words, your win is as elusive and fleeting as a unicorn sighting. Pretty, exciting, and gone before daylight.

So let's go ahead and kill all those dang unicorns in favor of true new-habit-embracing change. Let's really stop watching the clock. Let's totally embrace our inner clock. And let's quit those arbitrary rules so hard they shrivel up and die.

Okay, so really, I'm talking to myself here. But doesn't it sound so motivating if it sounds like I'm talking to you (whoever YOU are) instead?

For week two, I'm going to be working hard to really make sure I'm actually making sustainable changes to bring about better balance instead of continuing to chase unicorns.

I'm especially worried about backsliding on honoring my inner clock, so programmed do I feel to do certain things at certain times. So, I'm incorporating something new this week as well...

How many of you have heard of the Miracle Morning book by Hal Elrod?

When I was in PA, I got an email about an Amazon credit I had available to spend. So I hopped online and this book showed up in my recommended list. It nearly exactly matched its price to my credit, so a simple click of the button made it mine. I read it, cover to virtual cover, in its entirety on my plane rides back to Texas.

AND I LOVED IT!

It's all about shifting your perspective in how you approach mornings and completing a mix of six different things to get your day off to an absolutely fabulous start. The mix spells the acronym SAVERS - and you know I'm about to tell you what that means.

Silence/Prayer/Meditation

Affirmations/Mantras

Visualizing Goal Accomplishment

Exercise

Reading

Scribing/Journaling

Elrod suggests various ways of mixing up those steps - different order, different time alloted, etc. - but swears that spending at least a few minutes on each is what leads to a MIRACLE MORNING - in other words, living your best possible life daily because you get off to a great start.

The book also suggests some pre-/post-routine stuff like drinking water, washing your face, brushing your teeth, drinking coffee, eating breakfast, taking a shower...those cues your body needs to know it's time to WAKE UP AND FUNCTION.

So here's my plan for tomorrow, rather than lying in bed, waiting for minutes to tick past before I start writing for work at 5 AM.

3:55 AM - Alarm goes off, drink water, splash water on my face
4:00 AM - Prayer/meditation time
4:10 AM - Affirmations
4:15 AM - Visualization
4:20 AM - Exercise: 10 minutes on the bike, 5 minutes on elliptical, 5 minutes situps/pushups
4:40 AM - Reading - my next non-fiction book to tackle is The To-Do List Formula
4:55 AM - Scribing 3 gratitudes and 3 goals for the day
5:00 AM - Coffee & shower time.
5:15 AM - Start 1st hour of work for the day
6:15 AM - Wake the kiddos

So, for this to work, I'm supposed to solicit for an accountability partner. Any takers? I'm not super concerned about that, though, as I think I'll just use my blog for accountability purposes. Let's see how this MIRACLE MORNING routine works to create more positivity and balance in my life!

I'll be back next week for the next step in my self-care challenge: reprioritizing life with new 1-, 3-, and 5-year plans! Hope you'll be back to join me!

What I'm Reading, Nonfiction:Rachel Hollis' "Girl, Wash Your Face"

BUY NOW

I've never been in a book club. Can you imagine that? I read a couple hundred books a year and have done so for decades. But yet, I've somehow never been in a book club!

Well, all that has (sorta) changed, with this book: Rachel Hollis' "Girl, Wash Your Face."

I've belonged to an online mom's group for a decade. We met originally through pregnancy and parenting boards on a site called iVillage many moons ago and somehow, a couple dozen of us have stuck together now for 10+ years - some even longer - and are a daily part of each other's lives. I've met a few in real life, talk with some on the phone, and text with others. Whenever I have something to share, need to ask a question, want support for an issue or life caves in, that group, now on Facebook, is where I head first. I received an incredible gift from these girls earlier this year in a time of need, I get (and hopefully give) awesome advice and it's just...well, it's my village.

A few weeks ago, one of the great gals mentioned a particular book she thought we should read together and discuss. Sounds good! Except, I suck at commitment sometimes when it isn't to my kids or my work, and so now I'm days behind in reading. So as a way to publicly share the impact this book is having on me and keep myself more accountable in keeping up with the group...plus, possibly share some truths from my life in raw honesty, I decided to post about it here.

Have any of you read this book? What are your thoughts? Here's the premise, in brief: we all have heard and began to believe certain lies that keep us from living our best lives, or have fallen into traps that are equally destructive. In this book, blogger and podcaster Rachel Hollis lays out these lies and discusses how she got past their hold on her own life.

I'd love to hear your thoughts if this book has also been in your TBR pile! I'm going to commit to posting on each chapter here as I post my responses in the group. I may not share as many details here as in there - that group is private and some things are just meant to be kept more private, as open as I try to be - but I promise to share a lot!

Will you join me? Buy your own copy and start reading today!

What I'm Reading, Nonfiction: Joyce Meyer's "Approval Addiction"

Are you a people pleaser? If so, you're not alone. I am, too, and there's a ton of us out there. And it turns out, this addiction to gaining the approval of others is pretty darn destructive to our lives.

I've long been a fan of Joyce Meyer - I regularly watch her video clips and feel encouraged by her messages. This is my first time reading one of her books, however. My dear friend Yolanda brought this title to me when I was in the hospital last week and I've been making my way through it, slowly but surely, ever since.

Why slowly but surely, you ask? Normally, I'm a fast reader. However, this book contains tons of scriptural references and so much great information that I'm taking it slowly. I've got my Bible nearby so I can check each reference, I've got a book of prayers that I use to find similar topics, and I'm re-reading each chapter as I go so I can really soak in this goodness.

Here's why I am loving this book so much - the description from the back cover:

An addiction is something that controls people - something they feel they cannot do without or something they do to alleviate pain or pressure. It comes in many varieties, such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, shopping, eating work - and yes, even approval. Like any addict, insecure people look for a 'fix' when they get shaky. They need someone to reaffirm them and assure them that everything is all right.

The good news is that they, and you, don't have to suffer with insecurity; there is a cure for the approval addiction. The Word of God says we can be secure through Jesus Christ (see Ephesians 3:17). That means we are free to be ourselves and become all we can be in Him.

Beyond being a people pleaser, I'm also an appeaser. I want everyone to be happy all the time, and when I see a problem - or am the cause of a problem - I seek to fix that so that everyone will be happy and no one will be mad at me. And when I fail to do so, I withdraw into myself and basically hide out.

But I'm working hard to go beyond that. I know - I KNOW - that I can't keep everyone happy all the time and that that isn't even my job to do in the first place.

In this book, I feel like Joyce Meyer is talking directly to me. From the introduction:

Do you live under a burden of guilt and condemnation, feeling unrighteous, unworthy, and insecure? Are you a people-pleaser, always looking for the approval of others?

Yes, yes, and even yesser. This continually manifests itself in my life under the guise of anxiety. And it can be downright crippling! Here's what Joyce Meyer says to those of us who answered yes to that question above:

If the answer is yes, then I hope by the grace and the mercy of God to help you get over those feelings because they affect not only your personal relationships, but also your prayer life and your ability to be promoted in life. They certainly steal your joy and your peace - and that is not God's will for you or anyone else. God's will is that you enjoy your life - and you can do that.

The book then divides into 3 parts: part 1 focuses on "understanding we aren't perfect and that is okay;" part 2 goes on to cover "specific additions that hinder our walk with God;" and part 3 focuses on "our wholeness in God."

I'm still only in part 1 of the book, but since I'm loving it so much - and since I like to keep it real with what's going on in my own life - I wanted to share my experience with you here. I'll bet there's at least a few of you out there who could also benefit from reading "Approval Addiction."

How does people-pleasing behaviors affect you in your life? I'd love to hear your own experiences while we are in the middle of acknowledging and working to heal from this destructive behavior.