Back to Life, Back to Reality

Image Credit: FreeImages.co.uk

For the past five years, I've often felt like I'm the printer from "Office Space" - all jammed up and occasionally beat on in an open field. I let life overwhelm me. Pure and simple. Five years is too long to feel that way.

I was sad and bitter to go through pregnancy loss...and the loss of my father. I was gravely disappointed over the results of the 2008 Presidential election. I was beyond angry at the ordeal my husband went through with his former agency. I was beaten down after going through health issue after health issue. I was discouraged over feeling like my freelancing was constantly taking three steps forward and two steps back and not achieving the numbers I wanted. And I was damned exhausted balancing a full-time job, freelancing, starting up a media/publishing company, supporting my husband's wacky schedule, trying to be the best mom possible and trying to get healthier in the meantime.

And so, I shut down for awhile. I stopped blogging. Dribs and drabs for a year or so and then nothing. I posted to friends on FB and Twitter, but nothing longer. I avoided things I didn't want to deal with at all costs. I lost my nerve for taking risks and became afraid of simple things, such as getting on an airplane or even going down a bounce-house slide. I was *not* a great wife or mom.

Earlier this year, I started turning that around. First things first, I quit my job. If a decade of building wasn't enough to make my freelance career sustain, nothing would be. At that point, I got to enjoy more work/life balance. I've been vigorously tackling health issues; by the start of next month, I'll have had 5 surgeries in 21 months...plus, I've been dealing with squaring away a few other health issues. I'm working damn hard to be a better wife and mom. I'm busting my butt getting the media/publishing company into the zone of recurring monthly profits with my business partner. I finished my first novel and am going through edits I got back, polishing it up, before it gets published. I'm freelancing whenever I can and my health allows.

And now, I'm getting back to blogging. I've missed it. Terribly. I own several blogs that are all mine and contribute to several others. Slowly but surely, I'm working on getting back up to speed on all of them.

So...what will I focus on here at Breakfast at Tiffany's? Well, I'm going to drop writing about NASCAR. I'm not a sportscaster, and although I've enjoyed several opportunities to write on the sport for other sites and may do so again in the future, I'm retiring that topic here. I'm going to work on my "Tiffany Takes On" column, tackling stupidity in the news, one story at a time. I'm going to gently sneak back into political blogging - thoughts, not rants. I'll have personal posts now and again. I'll share what I'm up to with writing - freelancing, non-fiction and fiction. And I might even tiptoe into a podcast or two.

It's going to be a process, not a one day victory. I might have fits and starts for awhile. But I hope you come with me! My stats tell me that quite a few people still follow this blog by feed and others through Google and I hope you'll stick with me. I've missed you!

Sharpening My Saw

The family and I just returned yesterday from a week-long trip to Arizona.  My in-laws live in the desert about 100 miles outside of Phoenix (but because of geographic peculiarities, still in Maricopa County) and we were delighted to be able to visit them for Easter.
Guess what the most exciting part of our visit was, to me?
No, it wasn’t the caravan of private planes that we were a part of one morning to go to breakfast.
No, it wasn’t the tons of card games we played over the course of a week.
No, it wasn’t the bizarre Kirk Cameron movie we were subjected to watched one night.
No, it wasn’t getting to pet donkeys in Oatman.  Although, that was definitely the most bizarre part of the trip!
No, it wasn’t getting to sleep in (ha! Cate has us up every morning by 6:30, thank you time zone change) or getting to bed early (double ha! bedtime followed cards, and cards lasted until late most nights).
No, it wasn’t even necessarily the downtime where I got to sit and do absolutely nothing every once in awhile.
So what was it?
It was finally taking/making the time to read several books on writing that I purchased a longlonglong time ago and never got around to cracking open.  YAY!  I sharpened my saw and learned a LOT more about expanding my freelancing opportunities as well as better structuring myself to fit in more writing as a whole.
Three books in the course of a week really isn’t that much, considering how much I read normally, but fit in around all of our vacation and family activities, it makes me feel quite accomplished!
Now, the challenge is to apply what I’ve learned!  Wish me luck!

Freelancing 101

I read a blog post somewhere in the blogosphere recently, posing the question of what qualified someone to tell others how to write or how to develop their freelancing career.

My answer to that query would be having both experience and success! And since I have both (15 years of paid writing; freelance income that equals or exceeds my full-time salary during weeks when I have the capacity to take on 20 or more hours of contract work), I thought I'd start to offer my 2 cents in an ongoing series.

Welcome to Freelancing 101.

So...you want to be a writer.

Maybe you think you're good at writing.

Maybe you believe all of those web sites that claim that ANYONE who can scratch their own a$$ can write for the internet.

Think again.

Seriously. Freelancing 101 isn't meant to discourage you, but the simple fact is that to be truly successful as a freelancer - whether writing, editing, or performing other creative services - you have to have some degree of talent.

Sure, you can crank out web content at a penny a word and if you write "prolifically," you'll have enough cash to pay your rent.

But do you really want to do that day in and day out?

Nope, didn't think so.

So with that in mind, here is your first lesson:

Get 5 blank sheets of 8.5 x 11 paper.

1. On sheet number 1, brainstorm your talents.
   
2. On sheet number 2, brainstorm everything that you think might hinder your budding freelancing business.
   
3. On sheet number 3, brainstorm the areas that you need to learn more about before you get started or as you're striving to learn more.
   
4. On sheet number 4, brainstorm the time you have available to freelance and what you can do to properly schedule yourself.
   
5. And on sheet number 5, brainstorm the money you hope to make on a weekly basis.

When you've got all of that done, come back for Freelancing 102, when we'll put those 5 sheets together to create your business plan!

READER RESPONSE TIME:
If you are already a freelancer, what steps did you initially take to get started?

Fitting Everything In

Hi, everyone!

I've been struggling to carve time out of my schedule to actually get writing done post-baby. Not just fiction, which I've always struggled to find time for, but also the freelancing that used to add significantly to my household income.

So I thought I'd open up the blog to elicit reader responses - what do YOU do to schedule yourself time to write? What all do you balance writing against? Do you have any tips or tricks to get quality writing done?

Here's a look at what I'm trying to balance right now:

• Baby - a full time job in and of itself, especially since the hubby works a shift opposite of mine, so when I'm home with baby, I'm home alone with baby.
• Working - full time, outside of the home, including occasional travel.
• Household schtuff - I'm bound and determined not to use having a baby as an excuse to have a messy home. It's way harder now, but I'm sticking with it as best I can.
• Toastmasters - I'm the club secretary this year, and am also competing in Table Topics and the International Speech Contest. Just won 1st place in my area for both and go on to the divisional competition at the end of March.

Here's what's fallen by the wayside:

• Freelance writing - I started back 10 days postpartum, which was a huge mistake. I pulled back after 4 weeks of trying to keep up with client contracts and in the last 4 months have only written sporadically at best.
• Fictional writing - The goal was to add 10k a month in 2009 to one of my WIPs - The Mommy Letters, which I started writing way back in November 2006. So far this year? Have added a grand total of 3k. Ick.
• Judging Speech and Debate - I just want to get the baby a little bit older before I start leaving her elsewhere - with friends or family - for a full day so I can take on a tournament. Plus, the Friday night portions go late and I just don't feel I should be away from her at bedtime yet. Was hoping to do a Saturday-only in February but it fell through. I'm afraid that the school districts I contract with are going to stop inviting me if I don't jump in again fairly soon, although I've told some that I probably won't start again until the '09/'10 school year.
• Pampered Chef - Haven't held a show in a year. A year! Promised clients a catalog show in late 2008 but was too overwhelmed with other stuff to get it off the ground. Mea culpa! Planning a "Hey, it's Spring!" show for later this month and hope I actually pull it off.
• Choir/Orchestra - I haven't been active in the choir or orchestra at my church in a looooong time now and to be honest, of all the things that have gone by the wayside, that's what distresses me most. But Wednesday night practices when the baby isn't yet old enough for the church-sponsored babysitter just ain't gonna happen, since hubby is, of course, at work.
• Leadership Development Training - I haven't taught for my volunteer organization in almost a year and a half - and I'll stop being "certified" to teach my courses at the two year mark if I haven't taught them in that time. ACK! Trying to figure this piece out.

I'm sure I'm missing some stuff. Can't remember right now. But how convenient would it be to magically clone myself so I could find a way of fitting everything back in???

Your turn, readers! What are you juggling right now? What are your magical tips for making it all fit together? What have you gotten away from doing but really miss??

Writing is Less Important

I'm infuriated by a web site I came across today while following an ad posted on an otherwise reputable writing site for women.

Called Six Figure Freelancer, the site gives the back story for a down-on-his-luck twenty-something who turned it all around and got rich writing content for websites.

But consider a few quotes from his site - I hope they infuriate you as much as they disturb me.

My writing skills were poor, and to make matters worse… I’m a slow writer.

Unfortunately, this young man's writing skills have not improved at all while he has developed his content writing career. The entire site is very poorly written.

Think you need to be a Pulitzer Prize winning writer to earn a 6-figure income online? Writing skills are less important than other skills. The average person only reads at a 6th grade level. To be a good online content writer you only need to write in a basic conversational tone… like you talk.

So it's a good thing that many people only read at a 6th grade level? To me, that's horrifying. No wonder most websites are filled with pure and utter trash.

It's important to understand that what I've described to you is not a fantasy or magic. It is the regular day in the life of a successful freelance writer.

I would argue that success is not defined by the stupidity of people willing to pay you to produce crap for their websites. Success is defined by actual proficiency in what you undertake. I don't make six figures freelancing, but I do make just as much on a weekly basis as my full time job, and the work I produce would stand up to any English teacher's red pen. I won't prostitute myself to make a few extra bucks and tarnish my image as a proficient writer.

With proven strategies, and step-by-step methods , you could easily be making 2, 3 or even 9 thousand dollars per month in no time flat.

In addition to the other writing skills he lacks, he didn't learn about proper number usage in sentences. Let's be impressed.

There is huge variety of assignments you could choose from..writing small articles, ebooks, editing , article rewriting and much more. And don’t worry, if you can write at a basic ninth-grade level, this would be a piece of cake for you.

So we've been promoted from sixth grade to ninth grade?

Discover the best way to neutralize the competition… page 59 will teach you this one simple tactic!

Write professionally? Oh, right. We don't need to know how to do that.

You’re the kind of person that is looking for an honest, honorable and reliable way to start a freelance writing business… and looking for proven strategies and tactics to score all the writing assignments you can handle… then this is the package you’ve been looking for.

I don't think it's "honorable" to sell material that you know to be crap.

Like most people who hang out their eBooks to sell, David offers no concrete details about his actual background or experience. In fact, when I searched for him on Google, all links pointed back to the site hawking his $37 book.

David, I wish you well in your future endeavors. Luckily for you, there are apparently enough ignorant people in society who enjoy perpetrating their ignorance by paying you to spew crap. But for those of us who take pride in the work we produce, we'll look elsewhere for opportunities and advice.

MASSIVE UPDATE

Hi, everyone!

After a week hiatus, let's start this week off with a MASSIVE UPDATE!

First, for updates on baby and house "stuff", head over to How to Have a Baby and check out my 29w2d Update post.

Second, check out that I've actually update my 101 in 1001 post with some of our recent accomplishments. Yahoo!

Third, I have several new projects to announce very, very soon. I've been hired by a major blog network for a really nifty blog topic, and am also nearly ready to launch (or, in a couple cases re-launch) a few blogs on topics near and dear to my heart. One is another personal blog with a narrow topic and the others are on informative topics that I know a lot about...but will be writing on objectively instead of personally. Towards the end of several 101 in 1001 goals, I'm still working to expand my freelancing and its related income...and this is a part of that. Through ongoing clients, I've met many of my financial goals already in 2008, but am always looking for ways to expand.

And finally, and on a very somber note, I'd like to ask you to pray for my father. (I know - some of you are probably still praying since I initially asked you for your prayers last November and again this past March.) Dad took another huge downturn late last week and is now no longer able to get out of bed at all and is being fed 100% mechanically. At the advice of the nursing staff at his care center as well as the hospice that is overseeing his case, he was given Last Rites last evening around 5 PM. We decided not to go up to PA over the weekend because (a) I had a big doctor's appointment and testing this morning and (b) we're already scheduled to fly up Wednesday evening because of a pre-planned trip. If something happens sooner, then we'll travel sooner.

Mom puts her phone up to his ear whenever she calls so I can talk to him. Beyond that, unfortunately, there's nothing anyone can do beyond what is already being done. The nursing staff assures us he's resting comfortably, and of course the priest is full of assurances of better things to come. (Which, somewhere in my heart, I know. But I've really struggled with being incredibly angry at God for keeping my Dad in this awful state for so long over the past few months and as a result, haven't even regularly attended the church that I normally adore in about six months.) We've lined up all funeral arrangements, from pre-writing the obituary to having pallbearers to actual details with the funeral home, church and cemetery. When the time comes, we'll just need to finalize the memorial cards and service handouts, the readings and music (which I've already mostly picked...just need to convey the info, really...this, unfortunately, ain't my first funeral by far), his suit, and a coffin. We will not be doing any kind of lengthy viewing or any eulogies...first, it'll be a closed casket because we don't want anyone to remember Dad as he now is, so withered away and unlike his former self, and second because neither Mother nor I care to be on display. I wish I could play my violin for him at the funeral, but I just don't think I can handle that...it's something I've done for other friends and family at their funerals and I don't know how I ever kept it together then. In this case, I think it'd be almost impossible.

So right now, we're again in a holding pattern...needless to say, I'm not exactly sleeping well and my heart stops every time the phone rings. Not exactly a great state to be in while pregnant, but who can control the pace of life? Again, the prayer is that Dad goes quickly and painlessly...he's been living on borrowed time for almost six months. Thank you!

Hope you all have good weeks! I'll be back with a Tuesday Travels post tomorrow!

Tiffany

Defeated by Technology

A few months ago, I blogged that I'd found this neat article in the blogosphere that centered around a store I worked in on the Jersey Shore back during the summers of 1998 and 1999.

It turns out that the writer of that original blog about Cloud 9, Ann Richardson, came to visit my post, and blogged about it! She then tried to contact me...but that was unfortunately during the time when SBCglobal was busier eating new emails and destroying old emails and locking me out of my account than actually delivering communication.

By complete coincidence, I Googled myself today - something I do every few months or so to see what web sites have linked to me or picked up links to some of my freelancing articles - and found her later post.

I just finished popping off an email to Ann from my more reliable Yahoo address and hope to hear back from her! In any case, she's earned a reader for her blogged related to Jersey Shore Business News - and dear readers, I encourage you to go visit her!

Write...Full Time?

I began "seriously" freelancing about two years ago, in January 2006. At the time, I was simply looking to make a few extra dollars to put towards my wedding. Before that, I'd written "on and off" when someone I knew specifically asked me for help...over a 4 year span of time, this "on and off" writing probably netted about $2000 for my bank account - not exactly riches, but money I would not have had otherwise. Did writing for wedding money work out? Yes, big time. Writing also put a huge chunk of change towards the down payment on our house. And it helps to equalize my income in comparison towards my husband since I took a pretty big pay cut when I left the healthcare industry for the airline industry, putting us on unequal footing, which I found (and still find) to be unacceptable.

Throughout the past two years, I've toyed with the idea, more than once, of writing full-time. On an hour-by-hour basis, I have the ability to make more in an hour's worth of writing than in an hour at my full-time (salaried, not hourly) job - whether before or after pay cut. And more people than I can count have asked me why I haven't yet done that.

So this evening, I thought I'd write a bit on why I'm not yet ready to write for a living.

1. Stability - I'm a pretty big freak about stability. It took a lot of convincing on my husband's part to leave my well-paying but frustrating and unrewarding job in healthcare and go to AA for so much less compensation, even though AA has always been my dream company to work for. The instability of not having the income level I'd enjoyed since my very first post-college job just drove me insane. Freelance writers face a lot of instability - where the next project will come from, slow-downs that occur seasonally, clients who never pay up, etc.

2. Stir-craziness - When I was laid off about four years ago, I had enough money from severance and stock pay-outs and savings to not have to go back to work for at least six months, assuming I lived somewhat frugally...and so I spent the first three months be-bopping around the country to see my parents and friends and at-the-time boyfriend and helping another friend move to Texas and whatnot. But then, when I got back to my home and realized that I didn't have a whole lot to fill my time (although I got a TON of genealogy research done during that period!) I went stir-crazy. True, I didn't need to go back to work quite yet (and truthfully, didn't want to, until I figured out exactly what it was I wanted to do), but I had to go back to work to keep from losing my mind. Sit in my house all day? No thank you, very much! I'm afraid that if I was home all day every day writing, I'd gnaw off my foot.

3. Debt - Right now, it's awfully damn helpful to have a fulltime AND a freelance income, so that I can help our household get to a point where all non-mortgage debt (education, medical, credit cards, etc.) is paid off. I hate owing anything to anybody, and so this is an imperative for me. We've been living on a strict budget for two years now, and while we've paid off a tremendous amount of money, we still have a ways to go.

Having said all of that, it's still one of my goals to someday spend my days doing nothing but writing. So...what would turn the tables for me and enable me to decide to do it full time?

1. Debt - With the amount remaining to be paid off, it looks like it'll take us about another two years to finish paying everything off. Credit card and medical debt is already pretty low, but the dang school loans (um, law school wasn't cheap, even though I only went for a year!) are still fairly high. If I could spend these next two years, alongside my husband of course!, paying off the remainder of our debt, I'd feel more comfortable in deciding to write full-time.

2. Income - Looking at household budgeting and what money we would need each month for our individual needs as well as household expenses, I would feel comfortable leaving my full-time job and writing full-time if I could line up enough steady freelancing gigs (blogging, content, whatever) to guarantee a monthly income of no less than $2500 after taxes. Since freelancers are subject to self-employment taxes on top of "regular" income taxes, that would mean gross billings of about $3500 per month. I've actually achieved that level about 3 different times over the past two years, but my monthly average is typically only 1/3 of that...I do know, however, that if I wrote full-time, I could probably achieve that easily...but I want the "guarantee" of knowing that the gigs I already have would equal that, and anything "extra" would be purely extra: i.e. magazine articles, one-off projects, Pampered Chef, speech and debate judging, AdSense, etc.

3. Routine - In order to survive as a work-at-home writer, I would need a routine that got me out of the house at least several days per week. I go stir crazy otherwise. Whether that's the women's group at my church or a book club or coffee clache or whatever...I would need a definite routine to get out and have contact with others. That's one of the things I value most about working outside of the home currently...human contact. I'd be a sucky hermit.

4. Kiddos - Although I have no problem with the idea of daycare, I do like the idea of one or the other of us being at home with kiddos throughout their first few years of life. Right now, wouldn't be a problem - we work opposing shifts. But that may not always be the case and so if I wrote from home, it would be more easily accomplished. That's a theoretical at this point, however. Who knows when kiddos will decide to show up - we're open to just about anytime except the weekends of Daytona or the races at Pocono or TMS, hahahaha! But joking aside, this isn't something to plan/count on because it's not like we can plan when our family might grow...that's in God's hands, not ours. But when and if munchkins show up, it would be a definite incentive to write full-time from home!

So there you have it...it'll be interesting to see what the next few years will bring and if I ever make the full-time leap from my comfortable corporate cube to the wonderful world of writing.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Tiffany

But anyone can write, right?

Since I began "seriously" writing as a freelancer almost two years ago, I have fielded this kind of reaction more times than I can count.

"What's so special about what you do? Can't anyone do "that kind" of writing (referring to web content)?"

Know what? I never claimed to be all that special. What I have always claimed, however, is to have a knack for putting words together into cohesive thoughts and sharing those words with others.

Know what else? Even though I only began "regularly" freelancing two years ago, I've written for more years of my life than I can count. From starting a newspaper in first grade with my friend Caryn to editing my high school yearbook, to publishing two articles in small publications while in college, writing has been a large definition of my life.

And although it's not my only or even primary income, I consider it an achievement that I've been able to do more and pay for more and spread my writing around (under my own name or as a ghostwriter) because of the projects I've taken on as a freelancer.

A majority of the costs for my wedding - paid for by freelancing. A large part of the down payment of my house - paid for by freelancing. Various payments and extras and fun stuff - you got it.

It makes me very angry to compete against writers who think that it's perfectly acceptable to sell either a majority or all of their "writing" for pennies on the dollar. And it's gratifying how many web site owners come to realize that if you pay $1 for an article that is 400-500 words long, they got what they paid for: crap.

Deb Ng, one of my heroes in freelance writing, had a great post on her blog today, reacting to a web site she found proclaiming that anyone and everyone could write for pay if they chose to. *Snort.* Deb is arguably the first lady of freelance writing and blogging, and ya'll need to head over to her award-winning site, Freelance Writing Gigs, to check out her article and all of the resources she has to offer.

Tiffany