As I alluded to on my personal Facebook last week (it's time to make a change, ya'll) and on The Momma in the Middle's FB page (new series coming, ya'll), I'm embarking on the journey of life changes.
Why, you ask?
Because today is my 38th birthday! Or, as my kids are teasingly referring to it this year, today is the 9th anniversary of my 29th birthday.
I'm not where I thought I would be in life at this age or stage. But then again, are you? In conversations with other women and moms - and, also, other adults in general, regardless of gender - I'm finding that it's pretty common to be unexpectedly on a different track or in a different place or station than expected.
You've got your reasons. I've got mine. Those reasons aren't going to help us get to where we want to be, however. Making changes and making our way to where we DO want to be in life is hard work.
Very, very, very hard work.
Which is - confession time - why I've been putting this off for a dog's age.
But no more. For a series of other reason, my boundary lines got crossed in a variety of ways just recently and I said to myself - and to my online mom's group, an awesome clutch of women who have become like family over the past decade - that enough was enough and I was done.
So, I'm on this fall self-care challenge, that is meant to go far beyond just self-care and actually work to transform my life.
Don't get me wrong. I have a pretty good life these days, especially reaching a much better zone in these past six months. But it can get SO much better!
Please know, I'm on this journey and crafting my steps as I go. I'm no expert in this and I don't expect you to follow me or look to me for any kind of guidance. I'm just me. But I've done a ton of reading and research and brainstorming and have come up with the plan I'd like to follow and I'd sure love company along the way.
HAVING SAID ALL THAT...
WEEK ONE: Life Balance!
Is your life in balance?
Don't worry. I can wait a while until you stop gasping with laughter.
Mine isn't either. Granted, it's a life of my own making, comprised of carefully chosen components that make me happy or fulfill needs for me in various ways.
But that sure doesn't mean it's balanced.
Heck no!
So, here's what I'm doing this week to start better balancing my time as the first step toward balancing my life.
1. Stop Watching the Clock
I'm a time watcher. It's one of my compulsions. (Legit. I have OCD.) I am obsessive with counting numbers and watching minutes tick off the clock. I am also obsessive about tracking my time, through appointment calendars and in an Excel file where I track all of my work. Some scoff at this but I legit track everything to the minute. I have to. It's a compulsion I haven't even tried to overcome/mitigate. (Yes, I'm using obsession and compulsion in place of each other and that's not strictly appropriate. Just trying to stress how much this consumes me.)
UNTIL NOW.
Now, I'm trying to switch to blocks of time. Who cares if it takes me 14 minutes and 54 seconds to complete a certain routine, repetitive task? Where does that statistic get me in life? Nowhere, I tell you. Nowhere.
Instead, I'm giving myself blocks to tackle certain things. Here's a two-hour block to complete as much as I can toward client writing. Here's a 30-minute block to get as much decluttering done as I can. Here's a 60-minute block to chill.
Schedules are filled with a lot of times, deadlines and expectations we set for ourselves arbitrarily. So while I'll still be observing set times and demarcations of time that are an absolute must, for the rest of the day, I'm going to be trying to transition to blocks versus minutes and hours.
2. Stop Denying My Inner Clock
My inner clock says I should nap from 11 to 1 in the afternoon but be wide awake for the day starting at around 3 AM. I have been fighting that for some time now. Forcing myself to slog through work, sometimes sloppily, because 11 to 1 "should" be a time I'm working. Forcing myself to lay in bed, when I know dang well I'm not going to doze back off, because 3 AM "should" be a time I'm sleeping.Honestly, who cares about those silly shoulds? Am I harming anyone if I nap from 11 to 1 and work from 3 AM to 5 AM instead? Nope. Nope, I am not. In fact, when I've briefly experimented with this recently, it's AWESOME toward my productivity!
I get that not everyone can do this. Most of you would get fired if you dozed from 11 to 1, because that's the middle of your work day in a more rigid environment than mine. But what you can do is make some allowances for yourself at other times to capture your peak productivity times and give yourself grace to rest at your peak tired times.
3. Quit With Arbitrary Rules
How many arbitrary rules do you set for yourself, your spouse, your kids on a daily basis? I've really been thinking hard on these recently. What good do they do? Wouldn't some flexibility go a long way to removing arbitrary stress and ensuring things get done right instead of fast?
It would. I see you nodding over there. It totally would.
But dear Lord, aren't we wired to be arbitrary over things? This is a hard one to break and I think will be my most challenging.
How about you? What changes do you want to start making to your time management and life balance objectives?
Come on back next Monday and we'll continue talking about BALANCE!
And leave me lots of goodness in the comments if you're joining in, have feedback, have questions or can't wait to get started, too!
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