Fall Self-Care Challenge, Week Two:LIFE BALANCE, Part 2

Howdy again, ya'll!

Yes, WEEK TWO of my FALL SELF-CARE CHALLENGE is coming to you a couple weeks late. Sometimes, life goes off the rails a bit and we have to take time to address much larger goings-on. In my case, my best friend's sweet baby boy passed away unexpectedly and that was a much more important focus than blogging. It still is, honestly. If I could cut myself in two and send half of me back to PA, where I was last week, I would do so. But I had to get back to Texas to care for my own babies and get back up to speed in my work life, so here I am...blathering to you.

So about this self-care stuff...

Well, honestly, I barely got started. So here's to new new beginnings, right? Because it's never too late or too early to begin again anew.

So to recap...

The first three changes I wanted to incorporate in my life to create better balance were:
1. Stop Watching the Clock,
2. Stop Denying My Inner Clock, and
3. Quit With Arbitrary Rules.

Have you tried to incorporate any of those changes into your own life? I've been semi-successful, just in my short attempt at doing so. In fact, today I was so involved in work I was doing that I nearly missed getting to crosswalk (one of my volunteer gigs) this afternoon for school dismissal. So: I still need to watch the clock a bit. Or at least turn the reminder alarms back on, on my phone and iPad, now that I'm back in town.

As far as my inner clock having reset itself in the past year, turning me from an inveterate night owl to an astonishingly awake morning person...well, I've decided to embrace that wholeheartedly. More on that below...

Quitting arbitrary rules has been my biggest win so far. I was so programmed to "have" to do certain things at certain times, or in certain ways, that were just totally and completely unnecessary. Foolish, even. Beginning to ignore that in favor of simply getting done what needs done has been so freeing!

And now, this week...

WEEK TWO PRESENTS... 

KILL ALL THE UNICORNS!

How many of us experience unicorn wins versus actual habit changes?

Do I see a few hands out there, waving wildly in the air? I thought so!

A unicorn win is when you make an important change...and then forget all about it and go back to your old ways. In other words, your win is as elusive and fleeting as a unicorn sighting. Pretty, exciting, and gone before daylight.

So let's go ahead and kill all those dang unicorns in favor of true new-habit-embracing change. Let's really stop watching the clock. Let's totally embrace our inner clock. And let's quit those arbitrary rules so hard they shrivel up and die.

Okay, so really, I'm talking to myself here. But doesn't it sound so motivating if it sounds like I'm talking to you (whoever YOU are) instead?

For week two, I'm going to be working hard to really make sure I'm actually making sustainable changes to bring about better balance instead of continuing to chase unicorns.

I'm especially worried about backsliding on honoring my inner clock, so programmed do I feel to do certain things at certain times. So, I'm incorporating something new this week as well...

How many of you have heard of the Miracle Morning book by Hal Elrod?

When I was in PA, I got an email about an Amazon credit I had available to spend. So I hopped online and this book showed up in my recommended list. It nearly exactly matched its price to my credit, so a simple click of the button made it mine. I read it, cover to virtual cover, in its entirety on my plane rides back to Texas.

AND I LOVED IT!

It's all about shifting your perspective in how you approach mornings and completing a mix of six different things to get your day off to an absolutely fabulous start. The mix spells the acronym SAVERS - and you know I'm about to tell you what that means.

Silence/Prayer/Meditation

Affirmations/Mantras

Visualizing Goal Accomplishment

Exercise

Reading

Scribing/Journaling

Elrod suggests various ways of mixing up those steps - different order, different time alloted, etc. - but swears that spending at least a few minutes on each is what leads to a MIRACLE MORNING - in other words, living your best possible life daily because you get off to a great start.

The book also suggests some pre-/post-routine stuff like drinking water, washing your face, brushing your teeth, drinking coffee, eating breakfast, taking a shower...those cues your body needs to know it's time to WAKE UP AND FUNCTION.

So here's my plan for tomorrow, rather than lying in bed, waiting for minutes to tick past before I start writing for work at 5 AM.

3:55 AM - Alarm goes off, drink water, splash water on my face
4:00 AM - Prayer/meditation time
4:10 AM - Affirmations
4:15 AM - Visualization
4:20 AM - Exercise: 10 minutes on the bike, 5 minutes on elliptical, 5 minutes situps/pushups
4:40 AM - Reading - my next non-fiction book to tackle is The To-Do List Formula
4:55 AM - Scribing 3 gratitudes and 3 goals for the day
5:00 AM - Coffee & shower time.
5:15 AM - Start 1st hour of work for the day
6:15 AM - Wake the kiddos

So, for this to work, I'm supposed to solicit for an accountability partner. Any takers? I'm not super concerned about that, though, as I think I'll just use my blog for accountability purposes. Let's see how this MIRACLE MORNING routine works to create more positivity and balance in my life!

I'll be back next week for the next step in my self-care challenge: reprioritizing life with new 1-, 3-, and 5-year plans! Hope you'll be back to join me!

Fall Self-Care Challenge, Week One:LIFE BALANCE, Part 1

Howdy, folks!

As I alluded to on my personal Facebook last week (it's time to make a change, ya'll) and on The Momma in the Middle's FB page (new series coming, ya'll), I'm embarking on the journey of life changes.

Why, you ask?

Because today is my 38th birthday! Or, as my kids are teasingly referring to it this year, today is the 9th anniversary of my 29th birthday.

I'm not where I thought I would be in life at this age or stage. But then again, are you? In conversations with other women and moms - and, also, other adults in general, regardless of gender - I'm finding that it's pretty common to be unexpectedly on a different track or in a different place or station than expected.

You've got your reasons. I've got mine. Those reasons aren't going to help us get to where we want to be, however. Making changes and making our way to where we DO want to be in life is hard work.

Very, very, very hard work.

Which is - confession time - why I've been putting this off for a dog's age.

But no more. For a series of other reason, my boundary lines got crossed in a variety of ways just recently and I said to myself - and to my online mom's group, an awesome clutch of women who have become like family over the past decade - that enough was enough and I was done.

So, I'm on this fall self-care challenge, that is meant to go far beyond just self-care and actually work to transform my life.

Don't get me wrong. I have a pretty good life these days, especially reaching a much better zone in these past six months. But it can get SO much better!

Please know, I'm on this journey and crafting my steps as I go. I'm no expert in this and I don't expect you to follow me or look to me for any kind of guidance. I'm just me. But I've done a ton of reading and research and brainstorming and have come up with the plan I'd like to follow and I'd sure love company along the way.

HAVING SAID ALL THAT...

WEEK ONE: Life Balance!

Is your life in balance?

Don't worry. I can wait a while until you stop gasping with laughter.

Mine isn't either. Granted, it's a life of my own making, comprised of carefully chosen components that make me happy or fulfill needs for me in various ways.

But that sure doesn't mean it's balanced.

Heck no!

So, here's what I'm doing this week to start better balancing my time as the first step toward balancing my life.

1. Stop Watching the Clock

I'm a time watcher. It's one of my compulsions. (Legit. I have OCD.) I am obsessive with counting numbers and watching minutes tick off the clock. I am also obsessive about tracking my time, through appointment calendars and in an Excel file where I track all of my work. Some scoff at this but I legit track everything to the minute. I have to. It's a compulsion I haven't even tried to overcome/mitigate. (Yes, I'm using obsession and compulsion in place of each other and that's not strictly appropriate. Just trying to stress how much this consumes me.)

UNTIL NOW.

Now, I'm trying to switch to blocks of time. Who cares if it takes me 14 minutes and 54 seconds to complete a certain routine, repetitive task? Where does that statistic get me in life? Nowhere, I tell you. Nowhere.

Instead, I'm giving myself blocks to tackle certain things. Here's a two-hour block to complete as much as I can toward client writing. Here's a 30-minute block to get as much decluttering done as I can. Here's a 60-minute block to chill.

Schedules are filled with a lot of times, deadlines and expectations we set for ourselves arbitrarily. So while I'll still be observing set times and demarcations of time that are an absolute must, for the rest of the day, I'm going to be trying to transition to blocks versus minutes and hours.

2. Stop Denying My Inner Clock

My inner clock says I should nap from 11 to 1 in the afternoon but be wide awake for the day starting at around 3 AM. I have been fighting that for some time now. Forcing myself to slog through work, sometimes sloppily, because 11 to 1 "should" be a time I'm working. Forcing myself to lay in bed, when I know dang well I'm not going to doze back off, because 3 AM "should" be a time I'm sleeping.

Honestly, who cares about those silly shoulds? Am I harming anyone if I nap from 11 to 1 and work from 3 AM to 5 AM instead? Nope. Nope, I am not. In fact, when I've briefly experimented with this recently, it's AWESOME toward my productivity!

I get that not everyone can do this. Most of you would get fired if you dozed from 11 to 1, because that's the middle of your work day in a more rigid environment than mine. But what you can do is make some allowances for yourself at other times to capture your peak productivity times and give yourself grace to rest at your peak tired times.

3. Quit With Arbitrary Rules

How many arbitrary rules do you set for yourself, your spouse, your kids on a daily basis? I've really been thinking hard on these recently. What good do they do? Wouldn't some flexibility go a long way to removing arbitrary stress and ensuring things get done right instead of fast?

It would. I see you nodding over there. It totally would.

But dear Lord, aren't we wired to be arbitrary over things? This is a hard one to break and I think will be my most challenging.

How about you? What changes do you want to start making to your time management and life balance objectives?

Come on back next Monday and we'll continue talking about BALANCE!

And leave me lots of goodness in the comments if you're joining in, have feedback, have questions or can't wait to get started, too!

Hoot, Hoot...Hoot, Hoot

Had a scary experience with my doggos last night!

There’s currently a breach in our backyard fence that I haven’t had time to fix yet because I have to clear out a bunch of vegetation before I can reach it, but that allows the pups to get out. They don’t go far...we figured out there was a breach because we’d let them out the back door and they’d be begging to get in the house from the front door 30 seconds later. So for the past week or so, they’ve been going potty out front on leashes.

Last night, around midnight, I took them for one last potty trip. When we all got outside, after a moment, I noticed all three were transfixed, staring up at a bird on the power line. I didn’t have my glasses on and it was very dark so I had to move closer and really squint to see.

Danged if it wasn’t an owl! I’ve lived in Texas since the last week of May 2002, arriving here two weeks after college graduation up in PA. In 16 years and 4 months, I cannot recall seeing a single owl out of captivity here. And that includes living in 9 separate homes, 7 different towns, lots of nighttime dog walks or “me” walks BITD.

And he was a big’un!

I urged the pups to make quick about their business, because that bird was making Momma nerrrrrrrvous.

And then he swooped down. And so did I. I scooped up Baby and Sweetie, tugged on poor Sugar, and we were back inside my front door a nanosecond later. Who knew we could move so fast? With the screen door closed behind us and before I could slam my front door, I noticed him perched on the decorative stoop between my front porch and flower beds. Brazen sucker!!

Nighttime walks with the dogs just became a lot more cautious! Baby couldn’t have been even a quarter of his size. Thank God 2 of the 3 dogs are pee pad trained and the third will literally not pee in the house unless her bladder is positively overflowing...until I feel more comfortable again, that may be our nighttime solution.